Living with love in your heart is the best way to fight fear

Thumbs up, baby

A few weeks ago, mornings were intolerable. I had questions about my professional future, questions about my own place in the world, questions about my abilities to be functioning human being.

There was a span of a week there where I would wake up and immediately sit up straight in bed and run to the washroom, dry-heaving.

It was awful. My daily anxiety was so high that I woke up stressed out and went to bed stressed out.

Sleeping was also a challenge.

That said, I want to share my lessons with you all – and one of those lessons is that the energy you put out into the world is often the energy you will see returned to you.

It’s been a huge challenge, but I wanted to channel my inner Friday Night Lights fanboy by living ‘with love in my heart.’

In that movie, based on a true story, head coach Gary Gaines tells his team that if they go out and play this very violent sport with love in their hearts for their teammates and coaches, then they too, will be perfect.

“Can you live in that moment? Can you go out there with love in your heart and clear eyes? Can you be perfect?’

It leaves me with chills every time and frankly, I want to go out there and run through a wall.

More importantly, I’ve lived with love in my heart. Love for my family, my friends, my dog and my work. There have been some hiccups, but I can take solace in the fact that I have absolutely done my very best to do that, and lo and behold, all my anxieties have looked after themselves.

I went looking for a new condo, because my house just isn’t cutting it right now, and almost like magic, a solution presented itself.

Two weeks ago I didn’t know how I was going to earn a living beyond July and here we are not a couple of weeks later and everything has changed. I mean everything. I found a new job that I am genuinely excited and enthusiastic about, and with football season about to land on our doorsteps, I am feeling a lot more like myself again.

It’s so easy to just go out and live when you’re not carrying the burden of ‘What’s going to happen next?’ and as a result, I have allowed joy back into my heart.

And in that way, everything feels better. I have to say, one habit I have maintained no matter how dark the place I was in is daily weight training.

I go to the gym seven days a week and I plan every day around the question ‘Where and when ill I be moving my body?’

That has borne fruit. I am also galvanized by my clientele, such as the one known as Best Client Ever, or ‘BCE’ as she has put it (she doesn’t care to be named in this blog but loves her self-assessed nickname), and others, such as Lilian Cardinal, my Pointe Claire master’s swimmer who went out last week and set three personal bests in a provincial swimming competition.

They are absolutely amazing people. I also think of my young football-playing clientele who are getting stronger every day and putting down the kind of weight-training volume that will actually develop their strength and toughness.

It’s been quite a run, and when we focus on the positive stuff in our lives, it’s really easy to pull oneself out of the doldrums of anxiety.

They’re not to be confused with the doldrums of depression, which can also be an issue for some – me included, at times, but the fact is that knowing where my meals are going to come from after July is amazing to me nd that, right now, is enough.

Live well. Love your friends and family. Do nice things for them and love them the way they need to be loved.

That, my friends and dear readers, is where the magic happens.I've tried to be the very best person possible during this challenging time, and that has made all the difference.